My thoughts
by Starlight63
Summary: rose's thoughts and feelings before and after the titanic sails and sinks
1. The Sea, an Untamable Spirit

**The Sea, an Untamable Spirit**

The sea gave me the best thing in my life, only to take it away a short time later.

She taught me what true happiness was.

She also gave me a taste of absolute devastation.

And through it all, I loved the sea; for though she gave me trials and tribulations, she also Was my confidant and comforter.

She alone did not judge me when everyone else said I was a fool for giving up Everything.

But she understood I did it so that I could live, and be myself.

The sea understood that, like her, I had an untamable spirit, and if that fire that fueled my Spirit went out, so did I.

That fire was who I was, and they seemed unable to understand this.

The society that I left always thought women were weak creatures, always in need of Protection.

Never was I in need of protecting!

Like the sea, I protected myself.

Perhaps that is why we understand each other so well, because we are the same.

An untamable spirit.


	2. Can’t They See Who I Am?

**Can't they see who I am**

Why can't they see this isn't me?

Don't they see their words cut like a knife?

They want me to be prim and proper, but they stab me in the back when I'm not there

Tell me is this society fair?

Never true are the citizens, always cheating, stealing, bribing.

This is not the place for me!

I've done all this before it didn't go pleasantly.

I need to break free of this monotony that is my life.

But none seem to realize what they are doing to me

Why can't they see who I am?

Why can't they see this isn't the life I'm meant to live?

Can't they see, this ain't where I'm meant to be?


	3. Not My Life

**Not my life**

Always searching, never finding

Always fighting, never winning

Why do I feel like I am living the life of another?

Everyone is trying to change me

None let me be myself.

Help me find my way out of this life!

A need to rebel

An inner fire that is always crushed

They try to find me someone who will

Tame my fire, make me more like them

None let me be myself

Why do I feel like this is not my life?

Can't someone save me from a world

That loves the ones who are tame?

Bring me back to the life that should be mine!

Stop trying to change me into someone I'm not

Nor will ever be

Can't you see

That this is not the life I'm meant to lead?


	4. Let Me Be Me

**Let me be me**

I cry out to you, "help me!"

You think I mean "tame me!"

As you try and tame me, I cry out "this is not me!"

Why can't they see that by taming me, they are breaking me, harming me?

In taming me, they are killing me.

The person they love is dying because of their taming.

Can't you leave me be? I'm happy being me.

Why can't they see that I'm not meant to be in this society?

I want to be heard! I have ideas too!

Let me live, stop trying to protect me.

I'm not some delicate flower; I have thorns to protect me.

I don't trust easily. I can't be tamed but I can be broken.

Just help me to be me, don't change me.


	5. Never Returned

**Never Returned**

Given but never returned

That's what you did to my heart

Your beauty and strength still linger

They help me to live my life to the fullest

Making me remember to "Make each day count"

For when we do that, no life is wasted

That is what gets me through the days that promise

A person with true class does her best to always keep her promises.

That is probably the most important thing I ever learned in my old life.


	6. Glimpses to the Past

**Glimpses to the Past**

You Call to me still, reminding me of years gone by

Tell me how do I go back to mine?

I see things that no one else does

Receive glimpses to the past

I know they have a time and place all their own

But what part do I play?

Waiting patiently, but for whom?

I want to go back to a time when all was easy

When everyone believed me when I told them what I saw, because they saw it too

I know you are waiting for me to return,

But I still have much to learn.

Know that I love you and will come home to you

When it is right and until then you must have patience.


	7. You Don't Understand

**You Don't Understand**

You think you know what's best for me

Saying "Come on try something new! You'll enjoy this, just wait and see!"

But I've changed, I'm not that girl I used to be.

There are reasons I don't' try these things you want me to

But You don't seem to understand that I have reasons for all I say and do

I try and explain it but you don't listen thinking that I'm not listening to you

You just say I never try anything new, but I do try things new

Just let me pick and choose, "Don't try and force me"

I try new things all the time, just not when I'm forced into trying them

That's what I'm asking you to understand, to not force me to do these thigns.


	8. making sense and keeping promises

_Rose's thoughts as she contemplates whether or not she has kept her promise to Jack. Set just after she has been taken into the boat and is still a little delirious_

**Making Sense and Keeping Promises**

Warmth.

But that could only mean one thing.

I had broken my promise.

If I had broken my promise, why did everything hurt so much?

This wasn't making sense!

_You are keeping your promise._

But why am I so warm?

We're awaiting rescue, sop I should still be cold.

Shouldn't I?

Even with these blankets? Blankets?!

That's why I'm not cold!

That voice was right, I am keeping my promise.


	9. What Scares Me The Most

_An Alternate Universe poem about if Rose lost her memory but had moments where she remembered some things from Titanic, and several people from Titanic are watching over her to make sure nothing happens to her_

**What Scares Me The Most**

Running. Always Running.

I feel like I am both fleeing and seeking something important.

But I don't know what it is!

I feel there is something important I've forgotten something about my past.

Something important that will tell me who I am meant to be.

It comes to me during periods of rest and relaxation.

Brief glimpses of who I used to be.

Brief glimpses of familiar faces that only make me cry out in despair of never knowing Their importance: were they friends? Enemies? Family?

Yet when I try and grasp onto it, it flees and I'm once again running towards an invisible Thing. There are times when I wake and I can't breathe from an overwhelming fear Caused by a memory from long ago.

Times when I know someone was, or is, in the room with me; watching my, scaring me With the intensity of their watchfulness.

At times I want to cry out _Why are you_ _watching me?! What do you want from me?!_

But I know they won't answer.

They know I can sense them for most times they disappear once my eyes open.

But there are times I catch a fleeting glimpse of people that I recognize

But from where I don't know.

I know they are watching me, waiting for me.

But I don't know for what.

I fear I never shall know what or why I get these feelings.

And that, that is what scares me the most.


	10. Not A Delicate Flower

Not A Delicate Flower

**Not A Delicate Flower**

Everything I want is nothing I can have

They say I'm a delicate flower. Incapable of doing anything for myself. They seem unable to see the strong, capable person beneath the pretty façade.

Wanting to scream, "There's more to me than this porcelain doll! I am just as capable, if not more so, than most men!"

Yet none seems to hear me.

They just want the trophy not the person.

Something will happen soon to change this.

For I fear we can't continue on like this.

Failing to realize that we are not delicate flowers.

I just hope it doesn't come at too high a cost.


End file.
